My turn

I have told you some of the things that I went through in my first two post. From now on it will be all about me and how I am dealing with PTSD.

 When you love your spouse with everything that you have and it seems like it is not enough it hurts. When my husband goes through these episodes I think to my self if I can just love him enough he will be ok. I feel very lost and don't know what to do. I tell me to leave even though I don't want him to and I ask him to stay. I know that he needs to leave and just get away so that he can calm down. I seems that know matter what I know that it is the PTSD that is causing everything.
 I have been doing a lot of research and reading on Combat PTSD and according to the some studies we should have gotten a divorce a long time ago. I think that people just give up on people to easily. I will always stay by husband's side no matter what.
 I think that there should be more awareness about combat PTSD and some where spouses can go. I wish the talk show that are nation wide would do a segment or show. I would love to go on a show and talk about Combat PTSD from my point of view. If people would care about the men and women who are dealing with this for a while. I know that my husband and his buddies where not the first one to have Combat PTSD they men who fought in the previous wars. I think that would help a lot of people thinking that there is no one around me who is dealing with the same thing. I have taught myself a lot by reading about it. I am on a mission to help people who feel the same way I do. I feel that this is my path that God is showing to go. I know with my husband on one side and god on the my other side I can do anything.
 There were sometimes when I feel so helpless and don't know what to do. I just would write it out on paper and then tear up the paper and through it away. It made me feel good at the time but I never forgot about it. I have to talked to my husband about talking to people about it before but he said that I should tell anyone. Now that we have talked about it we both came to the conclusion that talking about it is the best way for both of us to handle it.
 Please pass the word about my blog to everyone you know. They might know someone who it could help. I welcome all kind of comments. I would be very intrested in what everyone thinks as they read my posts.
 If anyone has any questions please feel free to ask them and I will answer them honestly. Some answers might not be pretty but it all depends on the questions.